I read this a couple of days ago, and it's been resonating in me ever since...
It's from Lamentations 3 in The Message.
But there's one other thing I remember, and remembering, I keep a grip on hope:
God's loyal love couldn't have run out, His merciful love couldn't have dried up. They're created new every morning.
How great your faithfulness!
I'm sticking with God (I say it over and over.)
He's all I've got left...
God proves to be good...
It's a good thing to quietly hope, quietly hope for help from God...
The Master won't ever walk out and fail to return. If He works severely, He also works tenderly.
His stockpiles of loyal love are immense...
It wasn’t intentional, and nothing tumultuous or tragic happened; it just took a couple of weeks and a little bit of moving. A necklace, a ring, and an earring: 3 separate pieces now combined into a tangled mess. Before I knew it I had one of the biggest knots I’d seen. The chain of the necklace had wrapped around itself, and the other two pieces of jewelry. That has happened before, but it was never that tangled. There were more tiny knots than I could even see to count.
It took a lot of patience to untangle it. A few times I even thought about ripping it just to get it undone. But since I really like the chain on that necklace, I decided against it. I just kept working at it and working at it and eventually it was freed....well almost. There is still a tiny little knot that I can’t get out, but it’s definitely wear-able again.
God was teaching me a lesson as I sat and untangled that knot. It’s quite comparable to our lives sometimes. We don’t intentionally tangle things up, nothing terribly tragic has happened; we try to play it safe but we just aren’t that intentional with keeping things in order. We shift something around here or there, but don’t think much of it. We see a little knot start to form, but it’s happened before and we’ve successfully untangled it...so we can do it again. And then one day, we look at a couple things in our life and realize we have a huge tangled knot. Try to fix it as we may, we can’t get it undone.
Our God is patient. And He knows how to untangle. He sees the miniscule details of how the knot formed and His fingers are precise to undo what we can’t. Just as I was careless about the jewelry, sometimes I can be that way with life. It has to continually come back to a place of engaging in my relationship with Jesus. To take care of that stuff while it’s still small - no, rather to let Jesus take care of it. Absolutely nothing is beyond God’s capacity to figure out; He can do and undo what we can’t. His love and faithfulness are constant and fresh. And I want to live in that; not just letting Him untangle things when it gets to the point that I can’t. I wanna be vulnerable with God, letting Him deal with my fears and insecurities as they come up, so that it doesn’t turn into a big knot. I know there will be times that it does, and when it happens, God’s got me. But I’d rather rest in His presence, staying engaged with Jesus, being intentional and not lazy... Resting in Jesus.
I still have that little knot it my necklace. And for now, I’m going to leave it as a reminder. It’s interesting...this necklace I’m talking about has two inscriptions. One one side it says hagios which is the Greek word for holy, and on the other it says charis which is the Greek word for grace....all kinds of reminders in this one!
Strangely, I've been rather quiet in the blogging world about the move to Everett. And I'm not really sure why. I think maybe it's because when I blog, I think I should have a whole story. I mean, unless I have a cool picture, it doesn't do much justice to drop a one liner now does it?! I got away with that briefly about a week ago when I lumped several one liners into a post of things I needed to post about. And now I have posted about every other thing. Except for Everett.
I'm not really sure what the story is yet. This move didn't and doesn't make much logical sense to me. I mean, I pick up from a community of which I'm very established. Friends, church - where I was doing what I wanted to do regarding ministry with people I loved, a job (waiting tables yes - but making great money at a great restaurant) - to move even farther from home. But a few months ago, I felt transition was coming. I couldn't totally explain it and I didn't know what areas of my life it would affect - or if would even leave any areas of my life untouched. I simply didn't know. I just felt it coming.
Let me give a short and sweet version of the back story about Everett. Two + years ago, I started going to Living Hope. Joe and Charity Slawter were pastoring. They had planted and pastored LH for 10 years, and back in November felt God leading them to Everett, Wa (just outside of Seattle) for Joe to go on staff at New Life as a church planting pastor. (Basically, he coaches people in church planting.) Fast forward - we began talking about me coming to Everett as well (and wait just to clarify - I am not planting a church right now :)) So, one week after college graduation and one week ago, I packed up and headed - even farther - west.
So far, the transition is pretty much as I had expected it to be. So many of these parts remind me of when I moved to Coeur d'Alene... and then to Spokane. It's exciting to be in a new place. And it's scary. New surroundings and new people. I'm meeting new people all the time. And yet I'm lonely. I haven't found a niche yet. I miss my friends dearly. I miss normalcy. New surroundings. New people. New adventures. It's part of it. But it's only been a week. It won't always be new. And it won't always feel awkward. It just takes some settling in.
When I first thought and talked and prayed about moving here, I wasn't sure where God was leading. In lots of ways, I sensed Him giving me some open options. But the closer it came to moving, the more I thought that this move to Everett was the the right thing for right now. And that's as far as I can get. Even though this is still very much a bittersweet adventure, I really think God has me here for a purpose right now. He is teaching me SO much. This morning even, I am just awed by His grace. There's something about being out of the comfort zone that makes me think a little differently and realize all the more my desperate need for God. And that's a good place to be, even though it feels far from good.
The Slawters are loving on me well, and I'm really excited to see what God is unfolding in that BIG plan of His.
Thanks for reading.
I miss you and love you like crazy!
Some of my sweet family came out to Spokane for graduation. Most of these are at the lake, and the one with Brooke is from Gooey's a dessert place at the Marina.
I wanted to get a little bit of a tan before graduation. So as not to resemble
Casper in the pictures, I decided to go to the fake and bake for a few sessions. Five to
be exact. Sessions one, two, and three went fairly well. Hadnʼt gotten myself fried.
Could tell I was getting a hint of color. Pretty good overall. Well, for session four I
decided to up the time limit so I would get my moneyʼs worth, right?! And I did. I was a
bit burnt, but still not a lobster. I was pleased with my most recent session and was
smiling at my newly forming little tan...until I saw them. The two bare white patches right
at my chest/armpit. How in the world did those not et tan?!, I wondered. Then, I realized
it....”the girls” were covering up those spots while I was tanning! Ok, now I had to
strategize to use my next (and last) number five session. I did what any rational girl
would do and sought out the advice of a couple girlfriends who are regular tanners.
They gave me some great tips and I was ready to go back and get evened out.
Between some shifting around and awkward positions, it worked; I came out with an
even color!
This got me to thinking though and I found some similarities in my spiritual life. I
thought about those spots in my life that I donʼt always expose to the light of God. (I
realize that this analogy is completely cheesy, but hey it is what it is!) Ok, back to it...
For whatever reason, there are some parts that seem to stay under the shade of
something else. Possibly because I donʼt realize it or maybe because Iʼm intentionally
hiding those parts that I donʼt want to expose. But truthfully, I want all of me to be laid
bare before God; to surrender every single part of who I am to Him. He is safe. He is
trustworthy. He knows infinitely better than me. I wanted an even bake in the tanning
bed, so why not also desire to be evenly cooked by God?! I continually pray that He
grows me and matures me, and brings me to a place of knowing Him more intimately.
In this growth process (yes, thereʼs that word again!), I donʼt just want to pick and
choose parts that He can sanctify and then hide others. Realistically, and thankfully,
God has an incredible plan to sanctify ALL of me. After all, the work that God starts He
brings to full completion and He is faithful to do so. I can rest in that, and I also want to
cooperate with God regarding what He is doing in me, what He is growing, what He is
changing. I want to be willing to work with Him to shift me around - sometimes finding
myself in awkward positions - for the sake of knowing that God is doing an all over work
in me. :)
... to blog about!
I probably have at least about 4 blog posts that I could have done in the past week or so.
I just really haven't had the time.
Here are some highlights of what each post would be (and possibly will be now that I'll have some more time on my hands):
* Graduation from Moody. Exactly one week ago tomorrow. Wow!
* Spending a greater part of the week with some of my fam who came out to SpokWa for graduation.
* Some thoughts on God, the tanning bed, and getting cooked evenly.
* The move to Everett. (For those of you who haven't heard, I'm moving to the Seattle area, Everett specifically.) Leaving tomorrow.
Bitter.Sweet.
As for now, I'm still not quite ready to bring any of these posts to actuality, but I think soon I will be able to blog about...so much!
